Stupid Uterus

       Now wouldn’t be the ideal time to get preggers, but the cavewoman in me can’t help but want to be fertilized. I’m planning a wedding, we just got a house, and I have no insurance. My body wants to make something. Like…a baby.

I was 18 when I became pregnant with my son. Seems young right? Well, I had had a whole slew of medical problems and had a low chance of conceiving naturally, so it was quite the surprise! I had been with my boyfriend at the time for a year and a half and we had never been careful. That’s a year and a half of raging hormoned teenagers getting down like rabbits, and yet it took a year and a half before Kaedin happened.

We got married a few months later and the following spring we had a bouncing baby boy. Well, he just kind of laid there for the first few months of life, pooping and eating and screaming. Time moved quickly and he grew into this bad ass little toddler and guess what, momma wanted another one. Dad was reluctant (men, always thinking logically pfftttt) but he finally gave in. We tried and tried and tried some more. Nothing. We visited a doctor. She didn’t seem worried, we were so young and the stress of a toddler, maybe we weren’t boning being intimate at the right time in my cycle. She suggested a few positions to try and sent us on our way.

I began tracking my cycle and we tried to mate accordingly. Kind of took the fun out of it. It was like having an appointment, and if you know me, you know I hate being on time for anything. Then life took over. We got busy and baby making was pushed to the back burner.

In 2011, we separated. We moved on, It had been over for awhile. I ran into an old high school friend and fell madly in love. Like legit madly. By the end of 2011, we had moved in together and I finally felt like I was in a REAL grown up relationship. (as I’m typing this, I looked over to him snoozing on the couch and he’s so freaking hot) We haven’t been careful since like the 3rd time we had sex. Nothing. Not one single double line on a test.

We weren’t “trying” to get pregnant, if it happens it happens. I was noticing a significant amount of pain in my lower abdominal area though, especially when I was on my period. A few trips to the doc confirmed I have endometriosis. Bummer. I was told it was unlikely I would conceive naturally. There is a procedure I can have done to remove some of the scarring, but since I don’t have insurance, it’s not really an option.

For crying out loud though, I still think I’m pregnant every single stinking month. My periods are very regular. Every 24-28 days. Exactly 6 days before I start, I am in a terrible mood. Just for that one day. Then, I grow a zit. Just one, Could be anywhere on my face. Then, I start my period. No joke, it’s like that to a T. Even then, I am still hopeful.

I’m currently due to start in 2 days, per my Period Tracker app. That will put me starting on day 26 of my cycle. So, could be anytime in the next few days. I have a glaring zit on my right cheek, my breasts are sore and huge. I have that unmistakable ache in my lower abdomen. YET, there’s still a chance! I mean, those are ALSO early pregnancy symptoms!

AND…. at 6 DPO, there was PINK on the toliet paper. Faint pink. THAT’S what got my hopes up. Implantation bleeding?!?!?! Probably not… :(… Fiance and I had been intimate right before, so could have been from that. Although, it wasn’t rough or anything. I DON’T KNOW! UGH! If you’re TTC for awhile, you totally understand where I’m coming from! I’ll let you know in a few days. LOL

Have a fabulous day!